Choosing A University

Choosing a university can be a very daunting task and can seem to be a lot of work, but it doesn't have to be that way. Here’s my short guide of how to narrow down your uni choices and pick one that’s right for you.

• research 
• go on as many universities’ websites as you can, and note down and courses they do that slightly interest you. I personally put this info into a table, alongside other factors (whether or not you could do a year abroad, entry requirements, when the open days are, etc.). If a uni doesn't do a course you’re interested in; don’t go there. Don’t even bother going to the open day, which is something that I don't ever say lightly. 
• ask around 
• do you have older siblings who’ve been through uni? Older friends? Family friends? Ask your friends and family if they know people who’ve been through uni (especially doing the course(s) you’re interested in. People who’ve ‘been there’ and ‘done that’ are great sources of unbiased information that normally isn't on websites. From speaking to people, you get a sense of how you would be living yourself, straight from the horse’s mouth as it were (what a weird saying). 
• league tables 
• although you 100% shouldn't base your choices off of league table results, they do come in handy. For example, if you’re looking into an art subject, check the tables for it. The ‘best’ uni for art is not necessarily the best uni for biology or engineering. Doing this may highlight a uni that you weren't even considering. 
• open days 
• once you have your list/table compiled; it’s time for the open days. These are my absolute favourite part of uni choosing, as you get a real sense of what it’d be like to live and study at said establishment. Check my Guide to Uni Open Days for more prep advice and info, and a full list of many universities’ open days. Come prepared with questions to ask the lecturers/students, and don't forget to check out the accommodation and food stalls/student life areas. After being at the university and trying out the courses, you should be able to narrow down your choices massively. Keep a record of your experiences, as by the time you’ve been to your final open day, you’ll have forgotten the first one! You can rate them on aspects out of 10, or write pros and cons, or take photos, or just make notes. 
• compare 
• once you’ve been to all your favourite unis, look at all the courses you’d like to study. Which would be your favourite? Second favourite? Are these at the same uni, or different? Also, remember to take the entry requirements into account. If you’re not gonna get A*A*A at A Level, it’s probably not best to only apply for courses with those requirements. (Also remember to check for specific subject reqs, you may need to do A Level Law to do a Law degree, etc.) On the flip side, if you’re on track to get A*A*A at A Level, first of all congrats omg, teach me how please, and second don’t apply for only unis with reqs of BBB. It’s always good to have a ‘safeguarding’ uni with lower entry requirements, but don’t feel like you shouldn't aim high, because you always should! 
• keep lists 
• I am a big fan of lists and organisation in general, but this list is essential. Keep track of whether you’re put of or put on (?) by a course/uni, because if you forget then you’ll have to go through the process again and that’s just a massive waste of time. 
• have fun 
• choosing a uni can be daunting, but you can also have fun doing it! Display your data in your own way, make it easy for you personally to understand. Write, draw, make tables, do whatever works for you. And remember: choose a course, not a uni. I’d definitely rather do a subject I’ll enjoy at a lesser-known uni than do Maths (which I despise, sorry) at Oxbridge solely because of the name. Choose what’s right for you, not your friends, not your parents, not your teachers. 

Checklist
Have you considered:

• subjects 
• location 
• entry requirements 
• accommodation (location, size, catered/uncatered, etc) 
• student life (societies etc) 
• study abroad potential 
• finances 
• atmosphere 
• number of students/staff 
• campus vs city 
• surrounding area

Nostalgia Of School

Hi guys! On Friday, I visited my old secondary school to watch the Jazz Café (which was INSANE, as usual! [Shoutout to Beth, Ellie, Katie, Big Hair Joe, Toby, and David, as well as Simon+Veale+Clayton]) - a concert of old-school Jazz music as well as contemporary music played/sung in a Jazz style. When I went to the school, I was a part of the Jazz Café for 5 years, and this year’s was the first since year 7 that I didn’t perform in it. Watching the current students and seeing my old teachers again got me thinking about what life was like at secondary school, and who I used to be there. Therefore, today’s post will be a short (and hopefully sweet) little piece of my past.

What do I miss about school?

1. I miss only having 1 hour long lessons. (At college, they’re 1.5 hours each!) 
2. I miss my Music teacher and lessons. (<3 u Simon.)
3. I miss knowing who everyone in my year was. (210 pupils/year at school, over 3,000 students at my college.)
4. I miss performing in the concerts. (I don’t have the chance to at college; my timetable always clashes.)
5. I miss wearing a uniform. (Yes, really! It was so much less hassle to not think about what to wear every morning!)

But…

1. Having 1.5 hour long lessons gives me a chance to focus more and go into more detail with each subject. I actually find that by then end of the lesson I’m craving more knowledge, more detail, because I’m so immersed in said topic.
2. Because I no longer do such a range of subjects (used to do 12, now only do 4) I have more time to focus deeper on the subjects that interest me. There’s absolutely no way that anyone could do 5 A Levels in as much detail as you need, let alone 12! Although I still don’t have a solution for missing my Music teacher :(.
3. There are so many more people in college than school, which is great because that means there’s so many more potential friends! You can get to know such a range of diverse people from all around the area, broadening your knowledge and friendship group. Plus, there’s always at least one person on a free at the same time as you. Bonus. 
4. Even if I did have the chance to perform nowadays, I wouldn’t have the time. Revision and general life take up a lot of my personal timetable, not including the time already spent at college. In addition to the time-taking-up, the extra stress wouldn’t be good for me. Always see the good within the seemingly ‘bad’. 
5. Being able to wear my own clothes may be a time constraint, but it’s also a great way of expressing yourself and it’s another symbol of choosing your own path in life. Now that I’m older, I find it nicely symbolic that I have the opportunity to decide what I wear, because now I have to decide what I do, as well. AND; no more ties! I definitely don’t miss the peanutting of ties. 

Seeing the Jazz Café made me nostalgic and slightly sad, but it also made me think about how much I’ve grown and matured since school ended. And I’m extremely glad for that.

Choices: A University and Course(s)

Happy Wednesday!

Here's another instalment of TPYPF Choices series.

If you're in year 11, 12, or 13, you're probably thinking about what comes after college. Granted, university is by no means the only option available, but it's the one that I know most about, so that's what I'll be focussing on today. I'm currently looking into university myself, so I don't have as much knowledge on the actual life side of uni, but with regards to making plans, I'm pretty informed.

So, when begging in to look into further education, there's two routes you can go; courses by your favourite unis, or which unis do your favourite courses. Both are viable options, and I'm currently doing both. If you're interested, I'm looking into Theology/RS/Philosophy, and Drama. (so, very different subjects). The best ways I've found to narrow down my options is to only look at the Russel Group universities for the more academic subjects, and for specialised subjects like Drama, to simple google which are the best further education places for it. With Drama, you can go to uni, or a conservatoire, or a drama school, so it's little more complex than academic subjects.

If you're gonna go the subject choice then uni choice route, googling the top unis for your subject(s) is probably one of the best methods of narrowing down. Or if you're looking into a particular field, find successful people in that field and see where they went to uni. If you're heading for the other route, be prepared for some disappointments, because what seems to be the uni of your dreams may let you down when it comes to what courses are offered.

Other things to consider when looking into universities are:

• You don't have to only study one subject - you can do a 50/50 degree, or a 25/75 degree, or study one subject but do extra-curricular things in a totally different area - you needn't limit yourself
• Your country (whether that be England or not) isn't the only country! Although places like America and Canada are a lot more expensive when it come to tuition fees (especially for international students), they boast some of the best unis in the world, and have unique connections worldwide, in particular MIT, Yale, and CalTech - but remember, England's unis are pretty incredible too!
• Some further education providers don't work through UCAS, like conservatoires/drama schools/dance schools/non-UK unis/etc
• This is advantageous, because you can apply to more than just the 5 places allocated on your UCAS form
• This can be a bigger hassle, because you have potentially more rejection (let's not be pessimistic but still), and you have to spend more time applying directly
• Social life, including lodging - do you want to live on campus? what about catering? how many people do you want to share a bathroom/kitchen with?
• Where abouts you go - do you get homesick easily? Living closer to home might help if you need to come home for every holiday and give your parents a load of washing after each term

University Finder is a useful tool which can help you find universities which offer the course(s) you want and are aimed at your UCAS points range (which you can also calculate on the site).

UCAS also offer a similar service which is v v useful.

Good luck, and as always please feel free to contact me if you need any advice/help!

Choices: A College and Courses

Happy Wednesday! Here’s the second instalment of the Choosing series. This week we’ll be focusing in on choosing the right college for you, and making sure you do the right courses at said college. So, if you’re current year 11 or 10 and thinking about college, this is the post for you. As always, if anyone who’s already in college disagrees with me or knows I’ve given misinformation, please contact me and I’ll be happy to put it right!

So, the first step to finding the right college for you is to do your research. Choose 5 or 6 colleges that are relatively close by and acquire a prospectus from each of them - either from a careers day at your school, or by emailing/the website of the colleges. Go through each prospectus of courses and highlight the courses that sound a little interesting to you - create a list of options.

Once you have a relative idea of what you want to do, research more into each subject; if you know someone who’s done it or something similar then talk to them! Also, if you’re looking into a Humanities or a Science, I recommend checking out the posts on Another Ranting Reader and Not A Typical Teenager for advice and clearing up misconceptions. If you can’t find anyone who’s experienced the subjects you’re looking into, then don’t worry! Current students will be on hand at Open Evenings for precisely this purpose. (Also, if you’re looking into studying History/Film/Drama/Language then feel free to let me know, and I’ll help you out!)

On that note, make sure you attend Open Evenings! They’re a unique chance to see the college building, meet the teachers, and speak to current students who are in the exact same situation you will be in soon. Come prepared, with a list of queries or questions about the subjects/teachers/college life. And be confident - the students aren’t that scary!

After the Open Evenings, you should have a rough idea of what you want to do and where you want to go. I only applied to one college, but you can apply to as many as you want, if you’re looking to keep your options open. The application process is very simple: online form(s), interview, acceptance. Some colleges’ process may differ, but this is the standard. Again, if you’re feeling worried for any reason then feel free to contact me and I’ll do whatever I can to help.

Once you’ve been through the application process, all that’s left is to get your results. (Don’t worry about this either - worrying won’t make results better or worse, it’ll just cause you grief.

Some final tips:

Take into account which college your friends are going to, but don’t think about which courses they’re taking. The courses you choose to do matter so much more than which college you go to.

If none of your friends are going to the same college as you, don’t worry! Trust me, you’ll make so many new friends and a few weeks in you won’t have any inkling left of that worry.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions; to me, to former/current students, via email to the college, or if I don’t do any subjects you’re interested in, I’ll be more than happy to pass on your questions to my friends who do do the subject(s).

Finally, just don’t fret! I was so so terrified about starting college, but genuinely it’s so much better than school, and it’s not at al like I thought it’d be.


Tune in on Sunday for a summary of 7 reasons to believe in God, and next Wednesday for help on choosing a university and university course(s)!

Choices: GCSE Options

Happy February! New month; new series. Or is it? This month I’ll be continuing October’s series (The Pressures Young People Face) but with a twist: this month I’ll be focussing on the decisions a young person has to make. Each week will be a new stage in a young person’s life, and a new choice that they have to make.

Today’s choice is GCSE options. This choice is one you make normally in year 9, but it can be earlier or later. I made the choice in year 9, and I chose to do Spanish, Music, and History. At my school, everyone had to do a humanity (Geography, History, or RE) but in most schools this isn’t the case.

If you’re in the midst of choosing which subjects to carry forward to GCSE here is my advice; choose subjects that you enjoy. Don’t focus on what you’re good at, because as long as you get 5 A*-Cs then you may as well enjoy your time at secondary school too. Choose subjects that you will hate the least when you’re cramming the night before an exam, and that you won’t groan too much at when you see it on a revision timetable. I’m gonna be a little controversial here and say that if you want to, take into account what your friends are gonna study too. You shouldn’t do this for college or uni, but those are two whole other posts. For GCSE, I think it’s more important to have a little fun and still get decent grades than to get slightly better grades but hate every day of learning. 

Choosing a language is always a good idea; if you’re a natural linguist then you won’t even have to try, and if you have a good memory then the exams are pretty darn easy (you just have to worry about the Reading and Listening). 

I really really really recommend taking a humanities subject (even if your school doesn’t require it), because they give you such unique life and exam skills like essay writing and general knowledge of the world, in addition to a highly regarded qualification and a newfound love for said subject.

If you’re arty or somewhat interested in art, then by all means take an art! Either classic Art, Textiles, Music, Drama, or any other creative subject can really balance out an academically-based set of exams, and is really useful as proof that you’re more than just scores on a page. However, if you don’t enjoy arty subjects, then don’t take them. It’s really that simple. Having a creative subject is a help, but not having one isn’t a hindrance. 

I was selected to do Triple Science (Biology, Chemistry, and Physics) in my school, as opposed to the normal Double Science (Science and Additional Science). When I discovered this, I was very very opposed to the idea. (Like, I literally cried to the Head of Science. How embarrassing). But that was not a justified feeling. I revised a lot for Science, and ended up getting results that I was very proud of. Triple Science is a workload, granted, but if your school thinks you’re a hard enough worker, then go for it! As long as you apply yourself you’ll do fine, trust me. On that note, take any chances that you’re given to do extra GCSEs, or any extra qualifications at all, one day they might come in handy. And if not, then you’ll still have learned something!

I hope this has helped you if you’re currently in this situation, and if you ever need any help with revision prep, revision, or exam help then let me know! I’ll be more than happy to try and help you. Also, if you’ve already been through GCSEs and disagree with anything I’ve said, then please shoot me a message! All my contact details are on this page, or you could just drop a comment below.

Thanks, and good luck!

Pre-University Advice

If you're in year 12, like me, you're probably thinking about your plans after college. If you're considering further education, then there are a few things you can do right now to get you prepped and ahead of the game for applying to universities. As a disclaimer, because I am only in year 12, I haven't been to university yet. I'm hoping to after college, but I am therefore not an expert in university life. All I know is learned from my college careers advisors and my own research.

For example, Summer schools are a great way of experiencing both university life as well as lectures on the subject(s) of your choice. UNIQ has finished accepting applicants for this Summer, but you can still apply for future years when you are in year 12 (or the equivalent). UNIQ offers students a unique (funny) insight into life at Oxford university, one of the most prestigious universities in the world.
Sutton Trust is another very prestigious giver of Summer school opportunities. Applications for this year are still open, and give you the chance to study for a week at many different universities, including Cambridge, Warwick, Nottingham, and Imperial.

BOTH UNIQ AND SUTTON TRUST ARE COMPLETELY FREE!

Another option Summer school-wise if you already have an idea of where you'd like to go to uni, check out the uni's website, and see if they offer any Summer schools or courses. Many are free, but don't assume that they are unless they say so. You don't want to be landed with a massive unexpected fee!

If you aren't available for a Summer school (or would just like to do something extra) then look into taking courses or other extra-curricular things that relate to what you want to study. Universities are always looking for ways to select students that show a real enthusiasm for their subject and have genuine interest in it. This can't be shown by grades (which, don't get me wrong, are still very important), but instead is seen in things that you take upon yourself to do outside of school/college. This could be amateur dramatics if you want to study drama, going to lectures, playing a sport for a long time (this also shows commitment) if you want to study anything sport-related, attending daytime courses in your specified area, or anything else that could better your understanding and interest in your subject(s). Courses can be found on university websites, as well as venues that relate to your subject of choice.

Personal statements are sometimes needed to apply for Summer schools, but they needn't be daunting! Focus on showing your passion for your subject (but make sure to actually show it, don't just say 'I have a passion for this subject') and your commitment to studying and living it. Detail your academic success, but don't just list your qualifications; they'll have a list of them already. I'm not an expert, but I'd be more than happy to look over anyone's personal statement (or mini statement, as is usually asked of a Summer school) and offer my advice if you're feeling unconfident.

Good luck, and happy applying!

Exam Stress!

Recently at college, my year has been in the midst of *gulp* mock exams.
The pressures of revising, taking exams, and even waiting for the results, are honestly harrowing to even think about. But they can be somewhat conquered, I promise!
My aim is for this post to be your mini exam survival kit, and I hope that it'll help at least a little, in preparation for your next exam, whenever that may be.

Firstly, revision.
You need to prepare. Sit down for half an hour or so, and make a schedule, You don't have to do hours at once, or even do some every day (although it does help). All you have to do is a little at a time, and regularly. Look at the subject(s) or topic(s) you struggle with most, and dedicate more time to them than those which you're more comfortable with. There's no point in spending hours going over things you already know just to make yourself feel better. Once you have a schedule, stick to it! This is probably the hardest part, but you have to do it. However you can convince yourself, you should do it. While revising, try out different things to find what works for you. This means revision methods, like mindmaps/flash cards/quizzes/reading/etc. as well as having the TV on/silence/music/etc. I, personally, find it a lot easier to concentrate if I have some kind of background noice; I prefer instrumental piano music, so then I don't get distracted by lyrics.

Secondly, taking the exam. Before it, make sure you have everything you need; a bottle of water, pens, pencils, ruler, rubber, maths equipment, highlighters, any books/papers you need, etc. Get your bag packed the night before, so you don't have another worry on exam day. Make sure you know the structure of the paper too, so you know how much time you have for each section. Then once in the hall, lay out your materials how you want them, and take some time to calm yourself down and prepare. When the clock starts, know how much time you have for each section and keep yourself o that schedule, Don't get overwhelmed and if you feel like you are, stop and take a minute for yourself.

Finally, once the exam is over (thank goodness), you can't change anything. So there's no point worrying about it! This is easy to say, but not so easy to put into practice. However, once you realise this, you lose your worries post-exam because if you feel you've done your best, then there isn't anything to fear.

Exams don't have to be the beast they appear to be. The key is preparation and a calm, level head.
Good luck!

Dear 15-Year-Old Me

To Charlotte, circa April 2015.

It's okay.

People don't care as much as you think they do. They don't care about your weight, or your size, or the way your hair sticks out at an odd angle when you've slept funny. They aren't bothered if your makeup doesn't look like it normally does, or if you do a little worse than usual on a test. All of these things only affect you, and everyone feels the same about themselves.

Despite all of these things that everyone else doesn't care about, they do care about you. Your friends are just that: friends. Cherish the moments you spend with them and know that you deserve to spend time with them. You're gonna go through some hard times with them (and some harder times without them), but you're also gonna make some memories that you'll never, ever want to forget. Make time for friends, you don't always have to be waiting for someone else to make plans. Furthermore, you don't have to say yes to every plan you're offered. If you need some alone time, have some. You're only human, and you need to remember that. But then, you do have to leave the house at some point. Being cooped up isn't good for anyone, it just forces you to stew in your thoughts and riles up your inner storm.

Be thankful for the friends you currently have (I'm sure thankful that you had them), and don't take them for granted because one day you won't be as close or even know them at all, and that won't have to be sad if you take all that you can get from the relationships while they last. On the subject of friends, don't be scared of being alone. When you go to college you'll meet the most amazing people who will quickly become an extension of yourself. These wonderful people will make you want to get up at 5:30am, just so you can see them. Make sure to thank your current friends and future friends regularly because they deserve to know how important and valued they are.

Make sure to thank your family too. They might get on your nerves a lot (honestly I wonder if that'll ever change), but they do mean well, and they won't be there forever. Thankfully they are whilst I'm writing this, but you're already thinking about next steps and moving on and moving out and moving away, so treasure the time you have left with them. Tell the people you love that you love them more than you think you should, because sometimes people need to hear it.

You're changing at the moment; your ideals are becoming less skewed and your beliefs are finally emerging. Embrace this change; stop fighting it. Trust me, you'll love it once you're settled in yourself. Things for you now aren't all that good, but I promise you that they will be. You'll be happy, you'll start finally living, as opposed to just being, surviving. You're gonna drag yourself out of this hole and it's gonna be hard, but oh boy will it be worth it. You don't know how to accept help at the moment but you'll need to; you can't do this by yourself. It's not weak to need saving. You're strong, stronger than you perceive yourself to be. Use that strength to save yourself and then to save others.

This hard time won't last forever.
Neither will this year.
Neither will secondary school.
But your happiness can, you just have to fight for it. You are worthy of so much more than you think. Love others, love yourself, and above all else remember to spread joy wherever possible.

Also stop being a dick, you really get on my nerves.

From Charlotte, circa November 2016.

The Importance Of Friendship

All too often, and particularly by the older generation, friendships are overlooked as trivial and unimportant, whereas truly they are so much more than that. I've been through a time when I had very little, if any, friendship in my life, and I'm sure that either you or someone you know has had the same. If so, then you'll agree that a life without friends is a very tough one indeed. Friends aren't there solely to make you laugh (although that's also extremely important in life), but also to pick you up when you're down, and spend those not-so-funny times with you.
When you're sad, a good friend will be there to cheer you up, just as you will have done when they were upset. When you're happy, a good friend will be there to share the joy with you - this, in essence, is the reward of friendship, if you can analogise it to a game of sorts. If you are truly someone's friend, your heart will lift when you see them smiling, and you will feel their joy as they do.
About a year and a half ago, I was essentially friendless. I was unhappy, of course, but also my physical and mental health were at their worst, and I only left my house to go to school. In contrast, now, my life is full of friendship and happiness and health, and I couldn't be more overjoyed that I have found people whom I am more than proud to call my friends.
Friendship isn't just about happiness, though. A friend is there to talk, to listen, to cry to, and to help you, almost to be your second brain. A one-way friendship will never succeed, as you shouldn't receive without giving, especially not something as precious and personal as friendship. If a friend is seriously ill, you should be there for them, and you should trust that they will be there for you. Even though this oath of trust is so integral to forming a uniting friendship, you still shouldn't blame your friends if they do something wrong, or for a moment have skewed priorities. They are, after all, only human, just as you and I are. we must al remember that everyone makes mistakes, and that's alright as long as we learn from them.

A friend is a brother or sister, a family member, but one that you choose: 'the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb'. Society has twisted this phrase, and I bet most of you know it only as 'blood is thicker than water', meaning that blood connection are more important than relationships which you have chosen for yourself, but this is not true. That's also not to say that family bonds are unimportant, as I love my family to pieces, but for people who haven't had the rosy experience of family which I have been so lucky to have, I feel that this saying is demeaning and belittles their feelings. The true saying, however, is different but I don't believe it must be opposite. The 'blood of the covenant' means bonds made by choice, which could be either friendships or familial relationships, even though the 'water of the womb' clearly refers only to family.
Please take from this one thing; cherish your relationships with family and friends. A union formed by choice is always important, regardless of whether your DNA is similar or not! A friend can become family, as to me, family doesn't mean related.
It means love.

I Am... A College Student

Happy November! A new month marks a new Wednesday series, and this month's is entitled 'I Am...'. Here's the first post of this series: I Am A College Student. Enjoy!

In September this year, I started at sixth from college. From the secondary school I came from, nearly all of my close friends joined me at college, with only a few of them going to different colleges. I'm pretty sure that had this not been the case, I'd have found the transfer a heck of a lot more difficult. Although my friend group has changed hugely since starting sixth form, the first few days were made a lot less lonely by knowing people from secondary school. If you're worried about starting secondary school or college or even university, please don't be! At the beginning, everyone's in the same situation - nervous about knowing no one! It's very easy to make friends, even if you are a little socially awkward (like me, I admit).

With regards to workload, this transfer is also rather hard, but it's just something you have to embrace and work with. In my experience, you get more homework, the lessons are longer (and therefore far more tiring), and the work itself is more thorough and detailed. However, you have free periods during the day which are perfect for homework, meaning that if you're lucky, you won't actually have to do any homework! Longer lessons may seem like a drag to begin with, but you'll soon adapt to a new schedule and will realise you need more time to go through everything thoroughly. The work is more detailed, but you'll learn so much more than at GCSE level, so it's worth it!

But college isn't just work. You'll make new friends, get closer to old friends, and grow as a person yourself because of them. Personally, I adore my new friend group, just as I continue to adore my old friend group, even if I don't see them as often anymore. Their absence may seem sad, but in reality it's not sad; it's life. You'll always have opportunities to change and develop your personality and values, and I think that you should always take them. I started college with a circle of my friends from secondary school and now, not even two months in, I've got to know their new friends, and their friends' friends, and their friends' friends' friends and... 

Another part of college, more so in the second year but it's always good to be prepared, is choosing universities. If you were brought up like me, you'll have been taught that the only acceptable path is school, college, uni, job. That's not actually correct. If you don't want to go to uni, or you don't think enrolling will benefit you, then by no means do you have to go. But even if you don't think uni will be for you, research a few, you may be pleasantly surprised! And remember, not all universities are in your home country - you have the chance to travel!

A couple of months ago, I attended the Fulbright USA College Fair in London. I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but I was very pleasantly surprised. Essentially, it was a chance to meet representatives from hundreds of American universities, and discuss your future options with them. It's so refreshing to speak to someone in person nowadays, as opposed to a cold, impersonal email conversation. If you ever get the chance to attend a seminar or fair or a similar kind, I urge you to go. Even if you don't think you're going to study abroad, you might as well be positive that you don't want to, or have your mind changed. I'm still not too sure what country I want to study in, but the Fulbright fair really opened my eyes to the options I have, and clearly spelled out what I should be doing currently to get myself where I want to go. 

In summary, being a college student is tough. It's long days (hello leaving at 6:30am and getting home at 5:30pm), hard work, and non-stop consolidation learning. But it's also meeting new people, experiencing different cultures, and attaining more independence than you've had before. 

It's new. It's different. But that 100% doesn't mean it's bad.

Don't be scared about change. Change allowed us to evolve into sentient beings (with opposable thumbs!), and change will allow you to flourish. Embrace it.

Trapped By Stress

First of all, sorry that this post is so late! It was supposed to go up on Wednesday, but because of a family emergency I haven't had a chance to sit down and write until today. Once again, I am very, very sorry. Also, this week marks the last Wednesday of October, meaning that this is also the last week of The Pressures Young People Face. For November (as it's my birth month) the series will be called I Am... . Each Wednesday there will be a post entitled I Am ............ (a word that defines me), and will document my reasons for and against being ............, why I became ............, etc. Let me know if you have any ideas for what December's series should be! Anyway, on with the final post of October's series!

Throughout this series, I've spoken of multiple concerns that young people face daily. Somehow though, I haven't even mentioned exams. Exams, whether they be A Levels, GCSEs, SATs, or even a termly recap, are stressful. There's no doubt about that. Exam stress on top of regular daily teen stresses can be exhausting, demoralising, and can be 'the straw that broke the camel's back', to emulate my mother.
However, exams don't need to be this looming monster that they seem to be. Older people's tales of horrors in exam rooms needn't be true for you. If you're feeling stressed about exams, you have to comprehend why. Have you revised? Have you asked your teacher/peers for help? Have you made sacrifices to cope with the extra work? If the answer to all of these questions is 'no', then it's clear that your attitude is the problem.
But maybe, you've revised every day, you've asked for all the help that you can, and you've given up a little bit of social life to focus more on school work. And still, its not working. You may just need to take a break. This might sound like contrasting advice, but exams affect people differently, and therefore the stresses of exams are conquered differently. In essence, work hard, but not so hard that you're creating even more stress for yourself.

Exams aren't the only stressful thing in a young person's life, though. Many young people have extra stresses both inside and outside of school/college that they have to deal with. In some cases, they may be young carers, or be living off a single-parent income, or have extra responsibilities such as looking after a child (their own or a sibling), or having to work multiple part-time jobs to provide for their families. These young people carry an even larger burden that you or I, so if you ever feel lik the stress is too much, or you think a friend is feeling like this, take some time out of your day to just
Be.
Relax.
Appreciate the world and all it's wonders.
It helps me to take a step back and just breathe, and remind myself that I'm not the most stressed person in the world, and that I can cope. With the right guidance, we all can. Please don't be afraid to ask for help, either from a teacher, a friend, or from me! I'm more than happy to listen to you rant, and to try and give my advice, as I'm sure all of your teachers, and a good portion of your friends will be! If you're seeking my help, visit my Talk To Me! page and follow any of the links there. I must admit my expertise is limited, but I've already experienced SATs and GCSEs and have come out the other side smiling, but I'm more than happy to help you learn or research whatever you need, or to just talk!
If you remember one thing from this post, please let it be that you can cope with anything with the right help, and you're definitely not alone.
You're with me.

The Mirror As An Enemy

Young girls grow up hating; hating the mirror, hating the scales, hating the way their hair falls, hating themselves. We're taught to constantly compare ourselves to others: Is her hair better than mine? Why can't I do my makeup like that? How can I get that skinny? All these questions force young girls to measure their worth by their looks, against the looks of others.

But what we should be measuring ourselves by is our compassion, our dreams, our kindness to others. These qualities are the things that are really important, and that we should strive to better ourselves by increasing. But society doesn't teach teenagers to love others, or even to love themselves. In order to blossom and express your love for others, I feel you must first learn to love yourself, and to feel comfortable in your own skin. 

When I was at secondary school, I was constantly worrying about my makeup, my clothes, and my weight. From the age of eleven, I was dieting on and off, which was ridiculous. An eleven-year-old stressing over their figure, before they even had a figure. Society, huh? Once I got to college, where you wear your own clothes as opposed to a uniform, I thought that the judgement and ridicule would only get worse. I thought that people would be excluded from friendship groups if they didn't wear the 'right' clothes, and would be looked upon as a lesser human for the material in which they clothed their body. 

I was wrong.

At college, there is so much more unity and acceptance than I have seen elsewhere in the world in my (admittedly short) existence. Yes, there are cliques - it would be impossible for there not to be. But the people I have met are all so unique and simply acquiescent. I no longer feel worried about what I wear, or if I have a bad hair day. It doesn't matter any more. The things I should be concerned with are (admittedly) my grades, but more importantly, my relationships with other people and with the world, and the way I feel about myself. 

Even as a child, girls are taught that to be beautiful, they must wear mountains of makeup (but mustn't be fake), be a size zero with eye-popping curves (but mustn't obsess about their weight), be model height (but mustn't be too tall), and all this whilst maintaining perfect grades and a kind, funny personality. Plus, they have to have a multitude of hobbies; be an elegant dancer, a gifted singer, an outstanding athlete, and an endless list of other positive adjectives and talent-based nouns. This incessant need for perfection poisons a child's mind, causing them both stress and distress, and in many cases unfortunately leads to mental diseases like anorexia, bulimia, anxiety, depression, and dysphoria. 

How this longing for physical attractiveness is planted into a child's head I don't know, but what I do know is that it must change. I refuse to allow myself to be morphed into the brainwashed barbie that I am told I must become. I refuse to allow my child to suffer the feelings of imperfection and inadequacy that have become so commonplace in our society.  We, as a generation, need to stop this detrimental emotional state that has somehow found a home in the mind of every young person. We must not let it's squirming tentacles worm their way into the lives of our daughters and our sons. We can stop this pandemic of self-hate, leading to the eradication of all hate, leaving love. Always love. 

Living In A Shadow

In daily life, children, preteens, and teenagers face a number of pressures: appearance, grades, social life, to name but a few. All of these stresses are detrimental to the young person’s wellbeing and all deserve their own post in order to be discussed and eradicated by receiving the attention the problems deserve. The pressure that I’d like to flag up today, however, is the pressure of living up to other’s successes.

In my family, my mother has a maths degree, my brother has a maths degree, and my other brother went to Oxford to study (you guessed it) maths. Both of my brothers (me being the youngest sibling) studied Maths and Further Maths at college, in addition to Physics/Law/other supremely academic subject. I chose to not follow the path set by my older brothers and am studying Drama, Film, History, and French (the latter two more acceptable to my family). I’ll admit it to you; I was scared to make these choices, because as a child I had always followed in my brothers’ and my parents’ footsteps, and my parents assumed that I’d be heading for university, aiming for Oxbridge as my brothers did. However, I dislike studying Maths and Science, I am disinterested in most academic subjects. I am not trying to belittle them or negate their importance in life, on the contrary! I fully admire people who have chosen to study subjects that I have neither the drive nor the work ethic to study, I envy them in a way. But I adore my chosen subjects, and instead of following my parents’ dream of going to university to study Maths, I’d much rather study Acting or Film Production.

The attached photo showcases just a few of my brothers’ Excellence awards from our secondary school. These awards were given to the top two students in each year for a subject, every year. For our family (I guess you could call us a ‘smart’ family) this meant bringing home a yearly bundle of certificates, in every subject, both academic and not-so. Don’t get me wrong, I also received some of these awards during my time at secondary school, but not nearly so many. From year seven, I felt less accomplished than my brothers. This was further highlighted when I took my GCSEs. The more exam-inclined of my brothers (the Oxford one) managed to achieve 9 A*s and 4 As at GCSE; an incredible feat. But at the time, 12-year-old me wasn’t congratulating him, I had but one thing on my mind: beating him. When I took my GCSEs four years later, I achieved 7 A*s and 5 As. Now, I am ecstatic with my results, as I know I tried my hardest and have achieved what I need to further my education. At the time though, I was devastated. I hadn’t beaten my brother. But in academics, there is no winning and losing. Winning is gaining knowledge, the only loss you can achieve is letting that knowledge fly past you. I know that now, but I was too focused on the data and the numbers to be proud of myself, and that sucks. Royally.

So for me, the pressure of living up to other people’s intelligence came from (and still comes from) my family. However, for a lot of students, this feeling originates from their peers. If you’re a student, take a moment to think of the ‘smart kid’ in one of your classes. Yep, that one (there’s always one). Think of how many times you’ve sneaked a peek at their grade, or heard them complaining about how they ‘only got an A’ when they were hoping for an A*. Think about how that made you feel, looking at your A/B/C/D grade. Young people nowadays all seem to compare themselves to their friends and peers, putting themselves down because of that one test that their friend did better on.

Conversely, think of how the ‘smart kid’ felt when (s)he got an answer wrong in class, and were openly mocked for ‘losing their smart kid status’. An already awkward moment easily turns into one of embarrassment, self-doubt, and self-loathing for a child who, their whole life, has been told that they’re above average. It’s difficult to consider yourself above-average, to be conditioned into thinking that you’re above everybody else, then to be told you’re the same as your peers. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being ‘average’. But there is something wrong with teaching children that they must always be top of the class, or else they have failed. It may seem like you’re just boosting the child’s confidence, but in reality you’re setting that child up for a crash of failure when they find out that maybe they’re not so perfect after all.

Similarly, do not teach an average child that they will never accomplish what the 'smart kid' can. This will also set the child up for failure, crushing their dreams and ambitions even earlier than those of the 'smart kid'. Teachers; I beg of you, do not segregate and label your children as 'smart' and 'average'. This kind of class society is detrimental to everyone involved, though you may not see it at the time. Students; hard as it may be, do not compare yourself to anyone. Focus on improving yourself and growing in your knowledge, not whether you've 'beaten' the person next to you or not. If that's what you're thinking, then no matter your grade, you haven't beaten them at all. Most of all, be your own person, follow your own passions, and live in nobodies shadow!