The Mirror As An Enemy

Young girls grow up hating; hating the mirror, hating the scales, hating the way their hair falls, hating themselves. We're taught to constantly compare ourselves to others: Is her hair better than mine? Why can't I do my makeup like that? How can I get that skinny? All these questions force young girls to measure their worth by their looks, against the looks of others.

But what we should be measuring ourselves by is our compassion, our dreams, our kindness to others. These qualities are the things that are really important, and that we should strive to better ourselves by increasing. But society doesn't teach teenagers to love others, or even to love themselves. In order to blossom and express your love for others, I feel you must first learn to love yourself, and to feel comfortable in your own skin. 

When I was at secondary school, I was constantly worrying about my makeup, my clothes, and my weight. From the age of eleven, I was dieting on and off, which was ridiculous. An eleven-year-old stressing over their figure, before they even had a figure. Society, huh? Once I got to college, where you wear your own clothes as opposed to a uniform, I thought that the judgement and ridicule would only get worse. I thought that people would be excluded from friendship groups if they didn't wear the 'right' clothes, and would be looked upon as a lesser human for the material in which they clothed their body. 

I was wrong.

At college, there is so much more unity and acceptance than I have seen elsewhere in the world in my (admittedly short) existence. Yes, there are cliques - it would be impossible for there not to be. But the people I have met are all so unique and simply acquiescent. I no longer feel worried about what I wear, or if I have a bad hair day. It doesn't matter any more. The things I should be concerned with are (admittedly) my grades, but more importantly, my relationships with other people and with the world, and the way I feel about myself. 

Even as a child, girls are taught that to be beautiful, they must wear mountains of makeup (but mustn't be fake), be a size zero with eye-popping curves (but mustn't obsess about their weight), be model height (but mustn't be too tall), and all this whilst maintaining perfect grades and a kind, funny personality. Plus, they have to have a multitude of hobbies; be an elegant dancer, a gifted singer, an outstanding athlete, and an endless list of other positive adjectives and talent-based nouns. This incessant need for perfection poisons a child's mind, causing them both stress and distress, and in many cases unfortunately leads to mental diseases like anorexia, bulimia, anxiety, depression, and dysphoria. 

How this longing for physical attractiveness is planted into a child's head I don't know, but what I do know is that it must change. I refuse to allow myself to be morphed into the brainwashed barbie that I am told I must become. I refuse to allow my child to suffer the feelings of imperfection and inadequacy that have become so commonplace in our society.  We, as a generation, need to stop this detrimental emotional state that has somehow found a home in the mind of every young person. We must not let it's squirming tentacles worm their way into the lives of our daughters and our sons. We can stop this pandemic of self-hate, leading to the eradication of all hate, leaving love. Always love.