Choices: Influences

Happy St David's Day! (Confession: I thought that February had 29 days this year as opposed to only 28, so I scheduled today's post as being the final Wednesday of Feb's series... Sorry!!! However, [spoiler alert] March's series, which'll start next Wednesday, is called Meet The United Kingdom (Plus Ireland). Each week I'll do a profile of one country in the UK+Ireland, as it's both St David's Day (Wales) and St Patrick's Day (Ireland) this month.)

Anyways, ignoring my poor counting/planning, on with February's final post! Today's is all about choosing influences in your life.



Rachel's Challenge (which I've mentioned a few times before) is a set of five personal 'challenges' for you to undertake. My favourite of these is number three: Choose Positive Influences. In our lives, we are influenced by an endless list of things; news, friends, the internet, social conventions, etc to name just a few. We don't choose whether or not we see some of these things in our lives, but we can choose how they affect us.

I personally think that taking time to reflect on your life and the things that make it up is essential. We need to analyse what's going on in your lives so that we can keep the good stuff, and better/remove the bad. One big aspect of this which can be very difficult is friendships. Some friendships are harmful and toxic, and may be changing you for the worse or withholding you from being the best you can be. It's a cliché, I know, but there's a reason for that - it's true. If you have someone in your life who you don't wanting your life, then remove yourself from them. If they're holding you back or changing you into something you don't want to be, then your'e under no obligation to keep spending time with them.

My personal influences that I choose everyday are Rachel herself, my best friends, and God. I take inspiration and instruction from the people who I keep myself around, and sources that I trust and have been proven to be what I want them to be. These choices help to form my ethics and moral code, as well as guide me in dictating how I live every single day. They've helped me more than I can express, and I've changed so much as a person over the past few months that I'm hard recognisable - and I couldn't be happier. Imagine yourself trading places with your current idol - whether that be a celebrity, a friend, or an image you have of yourself. Are you happy? Happier than you are now? Happier than you would be without those influences? Are you making other people happy? If the answer to any of these questions is no, then you may want to rethink your idols.

My challenge to you is to consider your personal influences, and if you feel you should, then change them. Remove yourself from the lives of people who put you down. Reach out to people you want to help, or can help you. Stop doing that one thing you hate about yourself. Start doing something productive, something constructive, something good. And be proud of yourself.

Choices: How To Live

Happy Wednesday, guys! I'm actually on time today (shocker), so I hope you're all having a lovely half term if you're on it, or a lovely week if not!

Today's Choices post is more general than the past few; it covers a large area of life. I'll be focussing in on a couple of areas, but the gist of this post is that you have the freedom to choose your own path, so you should exploit that choice!

One major choice I've made is to know God. Nobody in my family has any faith at all, so religion seemed very foreign to me as a child. That is, until I realised that I could choose for myself what and who I believed in, and what that meant for me. No matter if you've been raised with or without faith, I'm of the opinion that you should choose for yourself what you really think. Question everything! Btw, that doesn't mean be unfaithful just because you can, but don't have blind faith; do your research (both in books/the internet and within yourself) and make an active choice to get to know yourself. To me, questioning faith actually ends up making it a whole lot stronger.

Another huge choice in my life was to be vegan. Again, this life choice is different from the rest of my family, so it was totally down to me that I became a vegan. Now, I'm not telling you all to go vegan (although you totally should), but I'm advising you to think about what you're eating, and maybe try it out! Also, being vegan has taught me to cook (really well, in my opinion), which is such an important life skill, and means that when I go to uni I won't be completely baffled by seeing a saucepan.

Other ways you can decide your own life as a teenager young adult or even as a regular adult, are as follows:

• How you treat people. It doesn't matter how you've been raised to treat others, you can always improve it! If you feel horrible when your parents don't tip at  restaurant, then tip them yourself! You're a strong, confident young person - act like it!
• Reading - do you? If you want to read more than you used to, just do it! I always have book recommendations, and so does the internet! It's such a simple way to change your life for the better.
• Your friendship group. If you don't like it, move on. It's tough, granted, but you may just find that you enjoy life a whole lot more with different people around you.
• Your attitude, and outlook on life. Be confident, be kind, be thankful, be appreciative of the things around you. These are literal choices that you can make, and they improve life not only for you, but for everybody who you meet!

... And so many more! Remember, it's cheesy as h@ck, but you really do control your own life. Act like it. 

Choices: A University and Course(s)

Happy Wednesday!

Here's another instalment of TPYPF Choices series.

If you're in year 11, 12, or 13, you're probably thinking about what comes after college. Granted, university is by no means the only option available, but it's the one that I know most about, so that's what I'll be focussing on today. I'm currently looking into university myself, so I don't have as much knowledge on the actual life side of uni, but with regards to making plans, I'm pretty informed.

So, when begging in to look into further education, there's two routes you can go; courses by your favourite unis, or which unis do your favourite courses. Both are viable options, and I'm currently doing both. If you're interested, I'm looking into Theology/RS/Philosophy, and Drama. (so, very different subjects). The best ways I've found to narrow down my options is to only look at the Russel Group universities for the more academic subjects, and for specialised subjects like Drama, to simple google which are the best further education places for it. With Drama, you can go to uni, or a conservatoire, or a drama school, so it's little more complex than academic subjects.

If you're gonna go the subject choice then uni choice route, googling the top unis for your subject(s) is probably one of the best methods of narrowing down. Or if you're looking into a particular field, find successful people in that field and see where they went to uni. If you're heading for the other route, be prepared for some disappointments, because what seems to be the uni of your dreams may let you down when it comes to what courses are offered.

Other things to consider when looking into universities are:

• You don't have to only study one subject - you can do a 50/50 degree, or a 25/75 degree, or study one subject but do extra-curricular things in a totally different area - you needn't limit yourself
• Your country (whether that be England or not) isn't the only country! Although places like America and Canada are a lot more expensive when it come to tuition fees (especially for international students), they boast some of the best unis in the world, and have unique connections worldwide, in particular MIT, Yale, and CalTech - but remember, England's unis are pretty incredible too!
• Some further education providers don't work through UCAS, like conservatoires/drama schools/dance schools/non-UK unis/etc
• This is advantageous, because you can apply to more than just the 5 places allocated on your UCAS form
• This can be a bigger hassle, because you have potentially more rejection (let's not be pessimistic but still), and you have to spend more time applying directly
• Social life, including lodging - do you want to live on campus? what about catering? how many people do you want to share a bathroom/kitchen with?
• Where abouts you go - do you get homesick easily? Living closer to home might help if you need to come home for every holiday and give your parents a load of washing after each term

University Finder is a useful tool which can help you find universities which offer the course(s) you want and are aimed at your UCAS points range (which you can also calculate on the site).

UCAS also offer a similar service which is v v useful.

Good luck, and as always please feel free to contact me if you need any advice/help!

Choices: A College and Courses

Happy Wednesday! Here’s the second instalment of the Choosing series. This week we’ll be focusing in on choosing the right college for you, and making sure you do the right courses at said college. So, if you’re current year 11 or 10 and thinking about college, this is the post for you. As always, if anyone who’s already in college disagrees with me or knows I’ve given misinformation, please contact me and I’ll be happy to put it right!

So, the first step to finding the right college for you is to do your research. Choose 5 or 6 colleges that are relatively close by and acquire a prospectus from each of them - either from a careers day at your school, or by emailing/the website of the colleges. Go through each prospectus of courses and highlight the courses that sound a little interesting to you - create a list of options.

Once you have a relative idea of what you want to do, research more into each subject; if you know someone who’s done it or something similar then talk to them! Also, if you’re looking into a Humanities or a Science, I recommend checking out the posts on Another Ranting Reader and Not A Typical Teenager for advice and clearing up misconceptions. If you can’t find anyone who’s experienced the subjects you’re looking into, then don’t worry! Current students will be on hand at Open Evenings for precisely this purpose. (Also, if you’re looking into studying History/Film/Drama/Language then feel free to let me know, and I’ll help you out!)

On that note, make sure you attend Open Evenings! They’re a unique chance to see the college building, meet the teachers, and speak to current students who are in the exact same situation you will be in soon. Come prepared, with a list of queries or questions about the subjects/teachers/college life. And be confident - the students aren’t that scary!

After the Open Evenings, you should have a rough idea of what you want to do and where you want to go. I only applied to one college, but you can apply to as many as you want, if you’re looking to keep your options open. The application process is very simple: online form(s), interview, acceptance. Some colleges’ process may differ, but this is the standard. Again, if you’re feeling worried for any reason then feel free to contact me and I’ll do whatever I can to help.

Once you’ve been through the application process, all that’s left is to get your results. (Don’t worry about this either - worrying won’t make results better or worse, it’ll just cause you grief.

Some final tips:

Take into account which college your friends are going to, but don’t think about which courses they’re taking. The courses you choose to do matter so much more than which college you go to.

If none of your friends are going to the same college as you, don’t worry! Trust me, you’ll make so many new friends and a few weeks in you won’t have any inkling left of that worry.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions; to me, to former/current students, via email to the college, or if I don’t do any subjects you’re interested in, I’ll be more than happy to pass on your questions to my friends who do do the subject(s).

Finally, just don’t fret! I was so so terrified about starting college, but genuinely it’s so much better than school, and it’s not at al like I thought it’d be.


Tune in on Sunday for a summary of 7 reasons to believe in God, and next Wednesday for help on choosing a university and university course(s)!

Choices: GCSE Options

Happy February! New month; new series. Or is it? This month I’ll be continuing October’s series (The Pressures Young People Face) but with a twist: this month I’ll be focussing on the decisions a young person has to make. Each week will be a new stage in a young person’s life, and a new choice that they have to make.

Today’s choice is GCSE options. This choice is one you make normally in year 9, but it can be earlier or later. I made the choice in year 9, and I chose to do Spanish, Music, and History. At my school, everyone had to do a humanity (Geography, History, or RE) but in most schools this isn’t the case.

If you’re in the midst of choosing which subjects to carry forward to GCSE here is my advice; choose subjects that you enjoy. Don’t focus on what you’re good at, because as long as you get 5 A*-Cs then you may as well enjoy your time at secondary school too. Choose subjects that you will hate the least when you’re cramming the night before an exam, and that you won’t groan too much at when you see it on a revision timetable. I’m gonna be a little controversial here and say that if you want to, take into account what your friends are gonna study too. You shouldn’t do this for college or uni, but those are two whole other posts. For GCSE, I think it’s more important to have a little fun and still get decent grades than to get slightly better grades but hate every day of learning. 

Choosing a language is always a good idea; if you’re a natural linguist then you won’t even have to try, and if you have a good memory then the exams are pretty darn easy (you just have to worry about the Reading and Listening). 

I really really really recommend taking a humanities subject (even if your school doesn’t require it), because they give you such unique life and exam skills like essay writing and general knowledge of the world, in addition to a highly regarded qualification and a newfound love for said subject.

If you’re arty or somewhat interested in art, then by all means take an art! Either classic Art, Textiles, Music, Drama, or any other creative subject can really balance out an academically-based set of exams, and is really useful as proof that you’re more than just scores on a page. However, if you don’t enjoy arty subjects, then don’t take them. It’s really that simple. Having a creative subject is a help, but not having one isn’t a hindrance. 

I was selected to do Triple Science (Biology, Chemistry, and Physics) in my school, as opposed to the normal Double Science (Science and Additional Science). When I discovered this, I was very very opposed to the idea. (Like, I literally cried to the Head of Science. How embarrassing). But that was not a justified feeling. I revised a lot for Science, and ended up getting results that I was very proud of. Triple Science is a workload, granted, but if your school thinks you’re a hard enough worker, then go for it! As long as you apply yourself you’ll do fine, trust me. On that note, take any chances that you’re given to do extra GCSEs, or any extra qualifications at all, one day they might come in handy. And if not, then you’ll still have learned something!

I hope this has helped you if you’re currently in this situation, and if you ever need any help with revision prep, revision, or exam help then let me know! I’ll be more than happy to try and help you. Also, if you’ve already been through GCSEs and disagree with anything I’ve said, then please shoot me a message! All my contact details are on this page, or you could just drop a comment below.

Thanks, and good luck!

Trapped By Stress

First of all, sorry that this post is so late! It was supposed to go up on Wednesday, but because of a family emergency I haven't had a chance to sit down and write until today. Once again, I am very, very sorry. Also, this week marks the last Wednesday of October, meaning that this is also the last week of The Pressures Young People Face. For November (as it's my birth month) the series will be called I Am... . Each Wednesday there will be a post entitled I Am ............ (a word that defines me), and will document my reasons for and against being ............, why I became ............, etc. Let me know if you have any ideas for what December's series should be! Anyway, on with the final post of October's series!

Throughout this series, I've spoken of multiple concerns that young people face daily. Somehow though, I haven't even mentioned exams. Exams, whether they be A Levels, GCSEs, SATs, or even a termly recap, are stressful. There's no doubt about that. Exam stress on top of regular daily teen stresses can be exhausting, demoralising, and can be 'the straw that broke the camel's back', to emulate my mother.
However, exams don't need to be this looming monster that they seem to be. Older people's tales of horrors in exam rooms needn't be true for you. If you're feeling stressed about exams, you have to comprehend why. Have you revised? Have you asked your teacher/peers for help? Have you made sacrifices to cope with the extra work? If the answer to all of these questions is 'no', then it's clear that your attitude is the problem.
But maybe, you've revised every day, you've asked for all the help that you can, and you've given up a little bit of social life to focus more on school work. And still, its not working. You may just need to take a break. This might sound like contrasting advice, but exams affect people differently, and therefore the stresses of exams are conquered differently. In essence, work hard, but not so hard that you're creating even more stress for yourself.

Exams aren't the only stressful thing in a young person's life, though. Many young people have extra stresses both inside and outside of school/college that they have to deal with. In some cases, they may be young carers, or be living off a single-parent income, or have extra responsibilities such as looking after a child (their own or a sibling), or having to work multiple part-time jobs to provide for their families. These young people carry an even larger burden that you or I, so if you ever feel lik the stress is too much, or you think a friend is feeling like this, take some time out of your day to just
Be.
Relax.
Appreciate the world and all it's wonders.
It helps me to take a step back and just breathe, and remind myself that I'm not the most stressed person in the world, and that I can cope. With the right guidance, we all can. Please don't be afraid to ask for help, either from a teacher, a friend, or from me! I'm more than happy to listen to you rant, and to try and give my advice, as I'm sure all of your teachers, and a good portion of your friends will be! If you're seeking my help, visit my Talk To Me! page and follow any of the links there. I must admit my expertise is limited, but I've already experienced SATs and GCSEs and have come out the other side smiling, but I'm more than happy to help you learn or research whatever you need, or to just talk!
If you remember one thing from this post, please let it be that you can cope with anything with the right help, and you're definitely not alone.
You're with me.

The Mirror As An Enemy

Young girls grow up hating; hating the mirror, hating the scales, hating the way their hair falls, hating themselves. We're taught to constantly compare ourselves to others: Is her hair better than mine? Why can't I do my makeup like that? How can I get that skinny? All these questions force young girls to measure their worth by their looks, against the looks of others.

But what we should be measuring ourselves by is our compassion, our dreams, our kindness to others. These qualities are the things that are really important, and that we should strive to better ourselves by increasing. But society doesn't teach teenagers to love others, or even to love themselves. In order to blossom and express your love for others, I feel you must first learn to love yourself, and to feel comfortable in your own skin. 

When I was at secondary school, I was constantly worrying about my makeup, my clothes, and my weight. From the age of eleven, I was dieting on and off, which was ridiculous. An eleven-year-old stressing over their figure, before they even had a figure. Society, huh? Once I got to college, where you wear your own clothes as opposed to a uniform, I thought that the judgement and ridicule would only get worse. I thought that people would be excluded from friendship groups if they didn't wear the 'right' clothes, and would be looked upon as a lesser human for the material in which they clothed their body. 

I was wrong.

At college, there is so much more unity and acceptance than I have seen elsewhere in the world in my (admittedly short) existence. Yes, there are cliques - it would be impossible for there not to be. But the people I have met are all so unique and simply acquiescent. I no longer feel worried about what I wear, or if I have a bad hair day. It doesn't matter any more. The things I should be concerned with are (admittedly) my grades, but more importantly, my relationships with other people and with the world, and the way I feel about myself. 

Even as a child, girls are taught that to be beautiful, they must wear mountains of makeup (but mustn't be fake), be a size zero with eye-popping curves (but mustn't obsess about their weight), be model height (but mustn't be too tall), and all this whilst maintaining perfect grades and a kind, funny personality. Plus, they have to have a multitude of hobbies; be an elegant dancer, a gifted singer, an outstanding athlete, and an endless list of other positive adjectives and talent-based nouns. This incessant need for perfection poisons a child's mind, causing them both stress and distress, and in many cases unfortunately leads to mental diseases like anorexia, bulimia, anxiety, depression, and dysphoria. 

How this longing for physical attractiveness is planted into a child's head I don't know, but what I do know is that it must change. I refuse to allow myself to be morphed into the brainwashed barbie that I am told I must become. I refuse to allow my child to suffer the feelings of imperfection and inadequacy that have become so commonplace in our society.  We, as a generation, need to stop this detrimental emotional state that has somehow found a home in the mind of every young person. We must not let it's squirming tentacles worm their way into the lives of our daughters and our sons. We can stop this pandemic of self-hate, leading to the eradication of all hate, leaving love. Always love. 

Living In A Shadow

In daily life, children, preteens, and teenagers face a number of pressures: appearance, grades, social life, to name but a few. All of these stresses are detrimental to the young person’s wellbeing and all deserve their own post in order to be discussed and eradicated by receiving the attention the problems deserve. The pressure that I’d like to flag up today, however, is the pressure of living up to other’s successes.

In my family, my mother has a maths degree, my brother has a maths degree, and my other brother went to Oxford to study (you guessed it) maths. Both of my brothers (me being the youngest sibling) studied Maths and Further Maths at college, in addition to Physics/Law/other supremely academic subject. I chose to not follow the path set by my older brothers and am studying Drama, Film, History, and French (the latter two more acceptable to my family). I’ll admit it to you; I was scared to make these choices, because as a child I had always followed in my brothers’ and my parents’ footsteps, and my parents assumed that I’d be heading for university, aiming for Oxbridge as my brothers did. However, I dislike studying Maths and Science, I am disinterested in most academic subjects. I am not trying to belittle them or negate their importance in life, on the contrary! I fully admire people who have chosen to study subjects that I have neither the drive nor the work ethic to study, I envy them in a way. But I adore my chosen subjects, and instead of following my parents’ dream of going to university to study Maths, I’d much rather study Acting or Film Production.

The attached photo showcases just a few of my brothers’ Excellence awards from our secondary school. These awards were given to the top two students in each year for a subject, every year. For our family (I guess you could call us a ‘smart’ family) this meant bringing home a yearly bundle of certificates, in every subject, both academic and not-so. Don’t get me wrong, I also received some of these awards during my time at secondary school, but not nearly so many. From year seven, I felt less accomplished than my brothers. This was further highlighted when I took my GCSEs. The more exam-inclined of my brothers (the Oxford one) managed to achieve 9 A*s and 4 As at GCSE; an incredible feat. But at the time, 12-year-old me wasn’t congratulating him, I had but one thing on my mind: beating him. When I took my GCSEs four years later, I achieved 7 A*s and 5 As. Now, I am ecstatic with my results, as I know I tried my hardest and have achieved what I need to further my education. At the time though, I was devastated. I hadn’t beaten my brother. But in academics, there is no winning and losing. Winning is gaining knowledge, the only loss you can achieve is letting that knowledge fly past you. I know that now, but I was too focused on the data and the numbers to be proud of myself, and that sucks. Royally.

So for me, the pressure of living up to other people’s intelligence came from (and still comes from) my family. However, for a lot of students, this feeling originates from their peers. If you’re a student, take a moment to think of the ‘smart kid’ in one of your classes. Yep, that one (there’s always one). Think of how many times you’ve sneaked a peek at their grade, or heard them complaining about how they ‘only got an A’ when they were hoping for an A*. Think about how that made you feel, looking at your A/B/C/D grade. Young people nowadays all seem to compare themselves to their friends and peers, putting themselves down because of that one test that their friend did better on.

Conversely, think of how the ‘smart kid’ felt when (s)he got an answer wrong in class, and were openly mocked for ‘losing their smart kid status’. An already awkward moment easily turns into one of embarrassment, self-doubt, and self-loathing for a child who, their whole life, has been told that they’re above average. It’s difficult to consider yourself above-average, to be conditioned into thinking that you’re above everybody else, then to be told you’re the same as your peers. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being ‘average’. But there is something wrong with teaching children that they must always be top of the class, or else they have failed. It may seem like you’re just boosting the child’s confidence, but in reality you’re setting that child up for a crash of failure when they find out that maybe they’re not so perfect after all.

Similarly, do not teach an average child that they will never accomplish what the 'smart kid' can. This will also set the child up for failure, crushing their dreams and ambitions even earlier than those of the 'smart kid'. Teachers; I beg of you, do not segregate and label your children as 'smart' and 'average'. This kind of class society is detrimental to everyone involved, though you may not see it at the time. Students; hard as it may be, do not compare yourself to anyone. Focus on improving yourself and growing in your knowledge, not whether you've 'beaten' the person next to you or not. If that's what you're thinking, then no matter your grade, you haven't beaten them at all. Most of all, be your own person, follow your own passions, and live in nobodies shadow!