Nostalgia Of School

Hi guys! On Friday, I visited my old secondary school to watch the Jazz Café (which was INSANE, as usual! [Shoutout to Beth, Ellie, Katie, Big Hair Joe, Toby, and David, as well as Simon+Veale+Clayton]) - a concert of old-school Jazz music as well as contemporary music played/sung in a Jazz style. When I went to the school, I was a part of the Jazz Café for 5 years, and this year’s was the first since year 7 that I didn’t perform in it. Watching the current students and seeing my old teachers again got me thinking about what life was like at secondary school, and who I used to be there. Therefore, today’s post will be a short (and hopefully sweet) little piece of my past.

What do I miss about school?

1. I miss only having 1 hour long lessons. (At college, they’re 1.5 hours each!) 
2. I miss my Music teacher and lessons. (<3 u Simon.)
3. I miss knowing who everyone in my year was. (210 pupils/year at school, over 3,000 students at my college.)
4. I miss performing in the concerts. (I don’t have the chance to at college; my timetable always clashes.)
5. I miss wearing a uniform. (Yes, really! It was so much less hassle to not think about what to wear every morning!)

But…

1. Having 1.5 hour long lessons gives me a chance to focus more and go into more detail with each subject. I actually find that by then end of the lesson I’m craving more knowledge, more detail, because I’m so immersed in said topic.
2. Because I no longer do such a range of subjects (used to do 12, now only do 4) I have more time to focus deeper on the subjects that interest me. There’s absolutely no way that anyone could do 5 A Levels in as much detail as you need, let alone 12! Although I still don’t have a solution for missing my Music teacher :(.
3. There are so many more people in college than school, which is great because that means there’s so many more potential friends! You can get to know such a range of diverse people from all around the area, broadening your knowledge and friendship group. Plus, there’s always at least one person on a free at the same time as you. Bonus. 
4. Even if I did have the chance to perform nowadays, I wouldn’t have the time. Revision and general life take up a lot of my personal timetable, not including the time already spent at college. In addition to the time-taking-up, the extra stress wouldn’t be good for me. Always see the good within the seemingly ‘bad’. 
5. Being able to wear my own clothes may be a time constraint, but it’s also a great way of expressing yourself and it’s another symbol of choosing your own path in life. Now that I’m older, I find it nicely symbolic that I have the opportunity to decide what I wear, because now I have to decide what I do, as well. AND; no more ties! I definitely don’t miss the peanutting of ties. 

Seeing the Jazz Café made me nostalgic and slightly sad, but it also made me think about how much I’ve grown and matured since school ended. And I’m extremely glad for that.

Choices: How To Live

Happy Wednesday, guys! I'm actually on time today (shocker), so I hope you're all having a lovely half term if you're on it, or a lovely week if not!

Today's Choices post is more general than the past few; it covers a large area of life. I'll be focussing in on a couple of areas, but the gist of this post is that you have the freedom to choose your own path, so you should exploit that choice!

One major choice I've made is to know God. Nobody in my family has any faith at all, so religion seemed very foreign to me as a child. That is, until I realised that I could choose for myself what and who I believed in, and what that meant for me. No matter if you've been raised with or without faith, I'm of the opinion that you should choose for yourself what you really think. Question everything! Btw, that doesn't mean be unfaithful just because you can, but don't have blind faith; do your research (both in books/the internet and within yourself) and make an active choice to get to know yourself. To me, questioning faith actually ends up making it a whole lot stronger.

Another huge choice in my life was to be vegan. Again, this life choice is different from the rest of my family, so it was totally down to me that I became a vegan. Now, I'm not telling you all to go vegan (although you totally should), but I'm advising you to think about what you're eating, and maybe try it out! Also, being vegan has taught me to cook (really well, in my opinion), which is such an important life skill, and means that when I go to uni I won't be completely baffled by seeing a saucepan.

Other ways you can decide your own life as a teenager young adult or even as a regular adult, are as follows:

• How you treat people. It doesn't matter how you've been raised to treat others, you can always improve it! If you feel horrible when your parents don't tip at  restaurant, then tip them yourself! You're a strong, confident young person - act like it!
• Reading - do you? If you want to read more than you used to, just do it! I always have book recommendations, and so does the internet! It's such a simple way to change your life for the better.
• Your friendship group. If you don't like it, move on. It's tough, granted, but you may just find that you enjoy life a whole lot more with different people around you.
• Your attitude, and outlook on life. Be confident, be kind, be thankful, be appreciative of the things around you. These are literal choices that you can make, and they improve life not only for you, but for everybody who you meet!

... And so many more! Remember, it's cheesy as h@ck, but you really do control your own life. Act like it. 

Dear 15-Year-Old Me

To Charlotte, circa April 2015.

It's okay.

People don't care as much as you think they do. They don't care about your weight, or your size, or the way your hair sticks out at an odd angle when you've slept funny. They aren't bothered if your makeup doesn't look like it normally does, or if you do a little worse than usual on a test. All of these things only affect you, and everyone feels the same about themselves.

Despite all of these things that everyone else doesn't care about, they do care about you. Your friends are just that: friends. Cherish the moments you spend with them and know that you deserve to spend time with them. You're gonna go through some hard times with them (and some harder times without them), but you're also gonna make some memories that you'll never, ever want to forget. Make time for friends, you don't always have to be waiting for someone else to make plans. Furthermore, you don't have to say yes to every plan you're offered. If you need some alone time, have some. You're only human, and you need to remember that. But then, you do have to leave the house at some point. Being cooped up isn't good for anyone, it just forces you to stew in your thoughts and riles up your inner storm.

Be thankful for the friends you currently have (I'm sure thankful that you had them), and don't take them for granted because one day you won't be as close or even know them at all, and that won't have to be sad if you take all that you can get from the relationships while they last. On the subject of friends, don't be scared of being alone. When you go to college you'll meet the most amazing people who will quickly become an extension of yourself. These wonderful people will make you want to get up at 5:30am, just so you can see them. Make sure to thank your current friends and future friends regularly because they deserve to know how important and valued they are.

Make sure to thank your family too. They might get on your nerves a lot (honestly I wonder if that'll ever change), but they do mean well, and they won't be there forever. Thankfully they are whilst I'm writing this, but you're already thinking about next steps and moving on and moving out and moving away, so treasure the time you have left with them. Tell the people you love that you love them more than you think you should, because sometimes people need to hear it.

You're changing at the moment; your ideals are becoming less skewed and your beliefs are finally emerging. Embrace this change; stop fighting it. Trust me, you'll love it once you're settled in yourself. Things for you now aren't all that good, but I promise you that they will be. You'll be happy, you'll start finally living, as opposed to just being, surviving. You're gonna drag yourself out of this hole and it's gonna be hard, but oh boy will it be worth it. You don't know how to accept help at the moment but you'll need to; you can't do this by yourself. It's not weak to need saving. You're strong, stronger than you perceive yourself to be. Use that strength to save yourself and then to save others.

This hard time won't last forever.
Neither will this year.
Neither will secondary school.
But your happiness can, you just have to fight for it. You are worthy of so much more than you think. Love others, love yourself, and above all else remember to spread joy wherever possible.

Also stop being a dick, you really get on my nerves.

From Charlotte, circa November 2016.

I Am... 17! (and other big news)

So today, I turned the ripe old age of 17! And as it's Wednesday, I decided to incorporate this special (well at least it's special for me) day into the series! Before I begin, I'd just like to thank Jemima for the inspiration for this post, which she titled Me At 17. Also, I'd like to wish my friend (and birthday twin) Anna a very happy birthday, again! Without further ado, on with I Am... 17!

So, who am I at seventeen?

Well, book-wise I still love my classics - Harry Potter, the Hunger Games, the Maze Runner, Cat Patrick, Jay Asher, and John Green to name but a few. However, I've also become a lot more interested in poetry. I really love Walt Whitman, Lord Byron, Sylvia Plath, and Erin Hanson. I've also started writing a lot more poetry, as you can see from this blog! Clearly, I started a blog too, which has made it much more simple for me to lay out my points of view and organise my thoughts.
Film-wise I'm again still loving the classics, but have become more interested in older films and other genres, mainly thanks to my friends and my Film class. I've also tried to make my first short film; Warning Sign. Furthermore, I'm very excited to see the next instalment of the Harry Potter franchise: Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them, which is out in the UK on November 18th, and the Miss Saigon 25th anniversary show, which will hopefully be as good as it's Les Miserables counterpart!
In general, I've changed a heck of a lot. I consider myself a Christian (for roughly 9 months now), a vegan (for a year and five months!), a feminist, a Labour supporter, a humanitarian, a Democrat (if I was American), and much more open to others' views, opinions, and prejudices (as a reminder, my aim is always to educate and increase love and tolerance, never to slander or make others feel like their views are unimportant). I've become much more politically educated, aware, and active, and feel more connected to both my local society and the world, as well as everything in between. I'm hoping that this interest will carry on, as I believe it's absolutely imperative to take responsibility for your country, and humans as a whole.

That's why I'm going to somewhat hijack this post, as today a decision was made that will affect the world; Donald Trump was elected as President of the United States. I honestly can't believe those words are coming out of my mouth (or at least from my fingers). I'm still kind of coming to terms with it, but that doesn't mean that we can't be ready for anything, and be hopeful for the future. Although I may not have wanted him to have access to the power he will soon yield, I still must accept him as the leader of the free world, and pray that his decisions won't harm too many people too badly.
If you're an American reading this, especially if you're a minority, please do not be afraid. America is still your country, you are still a human being, you still have your rights. Mr. Trump cannot and will not take that away from you, we will not let him. But I'll be completely honest with you; I am worried for everyone in America who is not white, or straight, or a Christian, or a man, or American-born, or is for some other reason on Mr. Trump's hitlist, if you can call it such.
Muslim women, to you I quote a tweet: if you feel the need to not wear your hijab for safety, Allah will understand and forgive you. Please don't put yourself in danger for reasons that could be avoided. Then again, please don't be afraid of expressing yourself and your religion. I'm not afraid of wearing a cross, so you shouldn't have to be afraid of wearing a hijab, or a niqab, or a burkha.
The LGBT+ community, stay strong. Pence will not break you. He cannot 'fix' you because you are not broken. Conversion therapy is not therapy at all, it is torture. Be safe, and hold on to who you truly are. Your real friends and family will accept you for who you are, even if that's not who they want you to be.
Women, and young girls especially, you can do whatever a man can do. You must reach for the moon, reach just as high as men. Your simple anatomy does not define your limitations, your attitude and mindset does. Please, do not be discouraged from dreaming big. Dream bigger than you ever have before, and encourage both your female and male friends to do the same. We cannot be equal if we do not first truly believe we are equal.
POC, we stand with you. History will not be allowed to repeat itself. Our differences make us who we are, and that is never a bad thing, until we start using our differences to hurt one another. Your skin colour does not define your worth. Neither does your gender. Nor your sexuality. Nor your religion. Your actions do.
Please, act right.

From a straight white Christian, we are not all the same.

I detest making my political view so apparent and admittedly biased, but I have tried to see the good in Mr. Trump, and I have come up empty-handed.

Please be safe and trust yourself and your fellow countrymen. We can make this work as an Earth, together.

I Am... A College Student

Happy November! A new month marks a new Wednesday series, and this month's is entitled 'I Am...'. Here's the first post of this series: I Am A College Student. Enjoy!

In September this year, I started at sixth from college. From the secondary school I came from, nearly all of my close friends joined me at college, with only a few of them going to different colleges. I'm pretty sure that had this not been the case, I'd have found the transfer a heck of a lot more difficult. Although my friend group has changed hugely since starting sixth form, the first few days were made a lot less lonely by knowing people from secondary school. If you're worried about starting secondary school or college or even university, please don't be! At the beginning, everyone's in the same situation - nervous about knowing no one! It's very easy to make friends, even if you are a little socially awkward (like me, I admit).

With regards to workload, this transfer is also rather hard, but it's just something you have to embrace and work with. In my experience, you get more homework, the lessons are longer (and therefore far more tiring), and the work itself is more thorough and detailed. However, you have free periods during the day which are perfect for homework, meaning that if you're lucky, you won't actually have to do any homework! Longer lessons may seem like a drag to begin with, but you'll soon adapt to a new schedule and will realise you need more time to go through everything thoroughly. The work is more detailed, but you'll learn so much more than at GCSE level, so it's worth it!

But college isn't just work. You'll make new friends, get closer to old friends, and grow as a person yourself because of them. Personally, I adore my new friend group, just as I continue to adore my old friend group, even if I don't see them as often anymore. Their absence may seem sad, but in reality it's not sad; it's life. You'll always have opportunities to change and develop your personality and values, and I think that you should always take them. I started college with a circle of my friends from secondary school and now, not even two months in, I've got to know their new friends, and their friends' friends, and their friends' friends' friends and... 

Another part of college, more so in the second year but it's always good to be prepared, is choosing universities. If you were brought up like me, you'll have been taught that the only acceptable path is school, college, uni, job. That's not actually correct. If you don't want to go to uni, or you don't think enrolling will benefit you, then by no means do you have to go. But even if you don't think uni will be for you, research a few, you may be pleasantly surprised! And remember, not all universities are in your home country - you have the chance to travel!

A couple of months ago, I attended the Fulbright USA College Fair in London. I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but I was very pleasantly surprised. Essentially, it was a chance to meet representatives from hundreds of American universities, and discuss your future options with them. It's so refreshing to speak to someone in person nowadays, as opposed to a cold, impersonal email conversation. If you ever get the chance to attend a seminar or fair or a similar kind, I urge you to go. Even if you don't think you're going to study abroad, you might as well be positive that you don't want to, or have your mind changed. I'm still not too sure what country I want to study in, but the Fulbright fair really opened my eyes to the options I have, and clearly spelled out what I should be doing currently to get myself where I want to go. 

In summary, being a college student is tough. It's long days (hello leaving at 6:30am and getting home at 5:30pm), hard work, and non-stop consolidation learning. But it's also meeting new people, experiencing different cultures, and attaining more independence than you've had before. 

It's new. It's different. But that 100% doesn't mean it's bad.

Don't be scared about change. Change allowed us to evolve into sentient beings (with opposable thumbs!), and change will allow you to flourish. Embrace it.

When You Feel Down

Stop
 think
  destroy
   create
    dream
     change
      experience
       improve
Start
       living

                                            -c.h.f