Update On Psychotic Depression

If you’ve been following the blog for a while, you might remember this post, in which I explained how someone close to me had Psychotic Depression, and how it affected both his and my family’s lives. I’d now like to give you an update on how things are going, because a lot’s changed since I posted the last post. When I wrote the last post, things were very early on in the course of the illness, and therefore I wasn’t as informed about it as I am now. I’d like to share the benefits of this enlarged knowledge in order to inform, aid, and encourage everyone (in particular anyone who has struggled/is struggling/will struggle with illness of a similar ilk).

Firstly, the basics. He is no longer suffering nearly as much as he was in October - he was given the wrong dose of medicine which led to him unnecessarily deteriorating, but once this was sorted everything started going uphill again. The lesson from this is to always query something that you think is incorrect. My mum was the one who noticed the incorrect dosage, not any doctors. If she hadn’t done this, then I’m almost positive that his current situation would be different.

Secondly, my family is now a lot closer. This part of my life has made me realise that it is so so so important to work through issues with other people, as opposed to trying to solve everything by yourself. When tragedy strikes in the form of an illness (either physical or mental), sometimes it seems like you have to take it all on alone, especially if you’re the one who is ill. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Working together as a cohesive team is imperative in aiding both the sick person’s welfare and that of everyone else.

Thirdly, it is almost just as important to talk to other people about such issues. Whether those people be few or many, friends or counsellors or therapists or teachers or anybody else. When the problem first arose, I spoke to the counsellor at my college. If you’re considering counselling or any kind of therapy, don’t be afraid! These people are like qualified listeners. Their job is to help you, so believe me they won’t ever be inherently against you or your cause. The counsellor advised me to confide in one of my friends about my problem, which until then hadn’t even crossed my mind (I was still in the previously mentioned mindset; that I had to face everything on my own). You know what? I think that telling my friend helped me more than anything else did. We didn’t ever speak about it in person, it was solely one message that explained what was going on and why I was telling her. If you’re ever struggling with anything of the same ilk, I really do advise you to tell a friend. Or, if you can’t face that, tell me! Like I always say, my messages are always open.

Fourthly, I am now majorly more aware of mental illness in today’s society. It still seems to be abnormally glossed over and stigmatised more than any other form of sickness, but I’ve noticed that at my college there is a much bigger focus than there was at my secondary school, which I see as a huge improvement. The only way to prevent mental illness and to help people dealing with mental illness is education! If people don’t know what mental illness is, then how are they supposed to help someone who is suffering?

Finally, I am now so much better off from having this bad experience, which seems a really odd thing to say, yet still makes sense to me. I know what to do if this happens to my family again, and I know how to help if somebody I know starts to suffer from the same or a similar situation. And if you yourself or a friend is worried about anything I’ve mentioned today, or anything at all, once again please do not be afraid to contact me and I’ll do my absolute best to either help you myself or refer you to a helpful person/site. Thank you, and be safe!

My Last Heavy Day

why
is my head full of churning wool
an ocean flowing
from my eyes
a swaying body
bleary psyche
a heavy heart
heavy mind
heavy eyes
heavy gun
heavy thoughts
no more

weightless soul
eternal.

                                            -c.h.f

When You Feel Down

Stop
 think
  destroy
   create
    dream
     change
      experience
       improve
Start
       living

                                            -c.h.f

Let's Talk About... Mental Health

There is such a stigma nowadays surrounding mental health. From a young age we are taught to hide our feelings and not mention mental health - neither ours nor that of those around us. But if you are feeling like your mental health is suffering, then bottling up your feelings will only make it worse. Somebody very close to me has suffered with Depression and Anxiety for a majority of his life, and has recently been diagnosed with Psychotic Depression, and obviously his mental health has been a huge part of his life, as well as the lives of his family and friends.

For those of you who don't know, Psychotic Depression is a form of severe Depression in which the sufferer has hallucinations or delusions, 'for example, they may become convinced they're to blame for something, or that they've committed a crime' - nhs.co.uk. They may hear the voices of loved ones, and are convinced that the voices they are hearing are real. For the sufferer and the people around them, this is very scary. The sufferer can no longer trust their own thoughts, and their friends/family can't trust what the sufferer says either. Until the person I know was diagnosed with it, I didn't even know that Psychotic Depression existed. However, I knew that physical diseases existed, and could name many. This only goes to show how stigmatised mental health is.

If a young person has a mental illness, they are told to 'just get over it'. If that young person had a physical illness such as cancer, there's no way that they would be told to 'just get over it'! Imagine going to the doctor's and being told that your illness is in your mind, and therefore you're making it up. It would only make you feel more alone and more of a 'freak'. This is why the discussion of mental health needs to become more commonplace. Mental illness can affect anyone, no matter their age/gender/background, and the awareness of these issues must be raised.

Neither in primary nor secondary school was I taught about mental illness, all I had was a couple of classes on anorexia and bulimia. Depression was never even mentioned. So how am I supposed to know how to help my loved one when he is suffering so much? Had I been educated on the finer details of mental illness, it's causes, symptoms, and cures, maybe I would be better at helping my loved one.

After researching Psychotic Depression and mental health in general, I have realised that it is easier than I thought to help those suffering: you just need to listen. As scary as it might be, and however many tears come speeding towards your eyes, we need to talk about mental illness: it could save someone's life.

If anything I have written has affected you in any way, please feel free to message me, through any of the sites/email listed on my 'Talk To Me!' page.

Here are some lists of helplines if you feel you need help.
Get Self Help (UK)
NHS (UK)
Together We Are Strong (International)
Asking for help is NOT a sign of weakness; it is a sign of recovery.